“I used to think it was a squirrel…”
“Used to? What about now?”
“Well… yesterday I thought it might be a beaver, but… now I’m thinkin’ it’s a bear.”
“Then what are those?”
“Rocks?”
“Maybe. It reminds me of the pictures I used to draw of Bailey.”
“Man, Rachel loved those.”
“Yeah.”
“I always thought they were poop.”
“What?”
“Sam, they were brown blobs. What else would they be?”
“I explicitly remember them being dog shaped.”
“Dog shaped poop.”
“Girls shouldn’t say poop. It sounds weird.”
“Poop, poop, poop.”
“Oh, shut up… Did Nia draw them?”
“Nah, Tre’sean did.”
“I thought Tre’sean only colored in red.”
“Must be branchin’ out. That one’s Nia’s.”
“Really? …No, that’s Ebony’s.”
“How can you tell?”
“Ebony always draws herself with pink hair.”
“…”
“It’s her favorite color.”
“…How’d you know that?”
“She told me.”
“Oh… What?”
“Hm? Nothing.”
“What? Sam… Dude, just tell me.”
“Fine. Maybe… I think you should be more pro-active with them, Ryleigh.”
“Like what, take them to the park or something?”
“If you feel inclined. Or, you could just color with them.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, ‘why’? They’re your family, Rye.”
“No. No, they aren’t.”
“Oh, God. Don’t—”
“Don’t what, Sam? They’re not my family. I wasn’t adopted like you were. They took me in ‘cuz they knew my parents, simple as that.”
“Those kids love you. Jasmine loves you. Why do you push them away? No, just shut up for a second. Okay? It wouldn’t kill you to spend time with them. All of them. I’m not saying you have to consider them family, I’m not even suggesting that you have to like them. But Ebony and Nia, they need someone to look up to. And Tre’sean’s just a kid, Ryleigh. He just wants to spend time with his big sister.”
“I’m not—”
“Rye?”
“…Yeah, Tre’sean?”
“Will you come play with me?”
“…”
“Rye?”
“…Sure, kid. Why not?”
So, I really spent the whole class period thinking of these characters. I had the scene in mind, the characters supplied themselves, but I still needed to think about their home lives and likes and dislikes. Really, what I did to make each one have a voice was tweak the way they talk. One drops the Gs on some of her words, the other has a slightly more sophisticated way of talking, but not over the top. I liked this assignment.
ReplyDeleteNice job, Jess. There's a complex and interesting situation underlying all this, and while I'm not sure the graphic or idiomatic distinctions between the voices is consistent throughout, you do a nice job of switching between voices without losing us. The hms and whats in the middle of the piece feel a little limp, and the mini-speech just verges on too much. The middle bit can be tightened by maybe a quicker, more direct statement about (but not of) the problem.
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